The Second Coming of Hello Kitty

Frantic shouting during a 4th grade class is just about always a sign of trouble, as well as a soon to be headache for that teacher. Interrupted by shifting chairs and shocked yelling, I turned from my board work expecting to see blood, vomit, or the first swings of a fist fight. Two girls were standing, pointing at back of the boy who sits in the row ahead of them, and their hysterical and utterly undecipherable exclamations had caused children from all over the classroom to rush out of their seats and mash into each other for a better look. Picturing a pair of scissor sticking out of the boy’s back or a massive spider crawling upwards towards his head, I pushed my way through the amassing students to see for myself what had warranted all of these kids losing their shit. After yanking several kids out of the way I was finally able to see the expression of the boy in the center of the crowd, and instead of being hunched over in pain or suffering from some grave ailment, he just looked sheepishly confused, as well as slightly annoyed from all of the children who were pulling at him to shift his back into a better perspective. Kids being kids, several grabbed and beckoned him to turn so that I could get a look as well, yelling excitedly “Teacher, teacher, look!”

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But surely there must’ve been some meaning I wasn’t aware of to warrant this strong of a reaction. The swamp-ass version of crop circles? Some Chinese form of perspiration divination like reading tea leaves? Do they see Jesus Hello Kitty within his sweat? One of the 4th grade teachers had just happened to pass by the classroom as I was taking these photos, and quickly came in to also figure out what was going on. After only a half a second’s glance at the boy’s back, she swatted several of the nearby kids and barked at the class to get back to their seats and study. She gave me the nod to go back to what I was doing, and that was that, class resumed as if nothing had happened. Kids are weird.

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